What’s Really Going On?

 

          Just want to share with you what’s on my mind today that I never want to do again in life. I am thinking about how I lost so much time and a large portion of my life in a relationship that I kept saying I didn’t want to be in, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out why was I in this relationship so long. I know the reason I did it, it was because I was made to feel guilty every time I wanted to end the relationship, but I still have a hard time

understanding why I let the reason be a factor in my life. Another reason, which is probably the main reason the relationship lasted so long was because I did not know how to deal with a manipulator.

 

          Ladies please think of yourself just as much or more than you think of the next person. I’m not saying not to care about anyone else, but love yourself, put yourself first and set your standards high. When it comes to the point that you are asking yourself while in your relationship, is this thing getting out of hand and you’re sad trying to make someone else happy, you need to know what’s really going on. Well I spent over Ten years (I lost count of the years because I don’t want to remember how long it was); trying to make a relationship work that just wasn’t working, because when I wanted out I was always told that I was not trying. I spent hours arguing with this person about why we didn’t belong together and that I am sorry, but “I just don’t love you”.

      

          When I first met this man I didn’t really know how I felt about him. We had a nice conversation, we shared pictures of our daughters, and learned that their birthdays were in the same month, and we also learned that our birthdays were in the same month. A perfect match you would think, but something just didn’t feel right. After about a month I expressed to him that I didn’t think this relationship was going to work, but he insisted that I give it some more time, so I did. I felt like I was pretending, and trying to make this relationship work, turned into many years of frustration and wasted time.

 

          He didn’t make matters any better, because he would try to make me do things for him by telling me what he claimed his ex-wife had done for him such as, run his bath water and massage his back every night, etc. He also wanted me to cook his food exactly the way his mother cooked it. I was always being compared to someone from his past relationships. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind making a man happy, but don’t try to make me do things by telling me what your ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or  your mother did for you, especially when it seems you’re just doing it out of spite and trying to make a mockery out of me and laughing behind my back. I felt like I was being manipulated. A person should know that’s the kind of thing that would run another person away.

    

     Some of the things I mentioned about him may seem small, but the bottom line is that he was a manipulator. I didn’t like his persona, because he was a person who thought he had to have his way all of the time, no matter how it made the other person feel. It seemed that everywhere we went he had to show people that he was the boss-man. He was loud and he felt he had to defend himself even before something happened, but he would always tell me I was the insecure one; He called me out of my name quite often and threw temper tantrums when he couldn’t get his way. When it comes to relationships these days I’m still trying to figure out, what’s really going on. If two people are secure within themselves, then one does not have to put the other down to make themselves feel good. We should be lifting each other up and making compromises in order to make a relationship work, instead he would tell me “A person is just who they are and there are some things you just can’t change about yourself.” Ladies we always see the signs, pay attention to them, and act accordingly. If the shoe does not fit, don’t force it.

 

Suggestions:

• Always remember that you are number one on this earth, so set your standards high, not to think you are better than anyone else but equal.
• Love and respect yourself first and it will be easier to love and respect someone else, and know who to accept in your life.
• When starting a new relationship, pay attention to the signs, such as, “Am I getting the respect I deserve?” and react accordingly.

 

Daniel 10:19

Strength Of People

He said, "O man of high esteem, do not be afraid Peace be with you; take courage and be courageous!" Now as soon as he spoke to me, I received strength and said, "May my lord speak, for you have strengthened me."

 

Psalms 139:13-14

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.